It so happens that I am staying in Fresno for a little while longer than originally anticipated. May is too soon, way too soon.
I would like to say that my decision to stay in Fresno, California was an uncomplicated, easy-made decision based on rational thought processes and well-thought through pragmatics. But then again, I wouldn't like to say that, because that would be extremely unlike me. There are a couple rational reasons: the money situation is not where I want it to be, I have to buy a car and the idea of 900 rent in LA is not super tasty, and I've made the executive decision to not go to USC... all good reasons not to go to LA. However, what actually happened was that tonight, Lizzy emailed me and said that living with her is probably not going to happen, which is valid; she needs to experience living alone. Of course I could still live in LA alone, get my own place (also probably a good idea) but instead of thinking of options, all of a sudden, in a rush of sentimentality for Fresno and in Classic Rachel Roellke Mode, I made the decision based on a small bump in the road of residency that could have been easily fixed. It's Fresno (YES!) at least until the end of the summer. I'm gonna have to quit Sylvan as soon as I find a new, good job that pays me a million dollars OR... get a job waitressing at Hooters. The subbing thing will probably only last until the traditional schools get off track. Then all the traddy teachers want to sub during the summer and I get the shaft. So a new job is most definitely in the works, somewhere.
The addition of Amy A to the scene has made things so much more tolerable that I can genuinely see myself staying for longer without slitting my own throat. She works with me at Sylvan and we just work well together -- she's random and fun and super smart... and probably the best dancer I've ever seen in my entire life. We're the best of friends, you see? I can stay here because there is reason to. (The new He is not a bad reason, either) People.
AND: I still haven't picked. It's way harder than I thought it would be, but I'm sticking to it, and I find that the added confidence from not hurting myself all of the time has also given me some patience.
I will buy a car and then see what happens. See what happens. I am patient and strong.
