full of moxie and viscosity

I should feel so much more joyful than I do. For some reason, the admission to USC has made me feel very low. Confused, purposeless. Sad. It doesn't help that though I have much luck in many areas of my life, there is one key area I never seem to get through with any prosperity. We all know. There's just that one certain thing I have no luck with at all. That should be okay. But it's not. It's all the more confusing when I can't even settle.

Emily's arms felt like home last night, holding in some kind of tantrum I was trying to throw. I long for release, I long for release. I'm trying hard to be perceptive and cool and mature about all of it, but I feel really slippery inside my ribs.