full of moxie and viscosity

I've decided to go back to school to become a teacher. Now, in the last month, I've gone from wanting to move in with my nanny charge to wanting to go back to school for graphic design to wanting to now be a teacher. So who knows how long this sentiment will really last. Regardless, this is the most excited I've been about something in a while, which really feels good. Like Dylan and I were talking about, this adventure will be one that I am sure of the results. I know already that teaching will be fulfilling for me in a really base, inherent way. I'm stoked about it. (And the three months off a year.)

In more melancholy news, I need to rid myself of these guilty feelings. I'm trying to be as candid as humanly possible with myself about what they could really be, but I'm so unsure. Usually they come after a night of drinking (last night was Adam Marcello in McMinnville... needless to say, he drove ME home... I love that guy...) and/or when I'm tired. Usually after drinking, though. I don't know if it's just a reaction to the alcohol (it is a downer, after all) or if I really have some pent up something inside of myself that I need to clear out. I think I feel guilty about things I've done in the past when I was drunk, and maybe that's coming out when I drink now. Maybe I need to face those things. I don't even really know why they bother me, anyway.

Time for bed. This week is gonna be a doozie.