full of moxie and viscosity

At times in our lives, we all feel the need to test those we care about. This may sound condescending or even a little untrusting, but we all do it subconsciously if not on purpose. I did it today, to a man I really do care for with every ounce of myself. I tested him completely inadvertently. I asked to see him. With all of the self-control I never knew he had, he declined, graciously, carefully, and all at once, I realized the test I had given. I sit now, wanting to admit that I am feeling rejected but in all honesty, not feeling that way at all. I sit and thank him for choosing the right thing. These backspaces I type are only to ensure that the words to follow are the right ones. And his answer to the test reassures me that his character, his morality, is in tact, the way I wished it to be, and I am smiling all night long with my fingers in his memory.