I think that Radiohead heightens my awareness of the differences between colors. When I'm listening, all of a sudden the blue of my car is no longer just blue, but it's blue because the sky is grey and the road is black and the trees are green and the stop sign red and my hands pink.
Most of my epiphanies these days are about context. I either decide that context is all that matters, that I exist because the table exists and I know that I'm not the table (thank you to Nathan Gadd for the "this") or that what really matters is me, alone, not that I exist within a context but that I am completely me without anyone else. It translates into so many different arguments- the nature vs. nurture argument, deciding whether we are inherently the way that we are or if we are solely products of our environments. Or the subjectivity argument. Does anything really matter if it's outside our own perspective? I think I make art. But someone on the street might say that my art is nothing but false interpretations of sensory perceptions, which might be wrong anyway... in which case, we have to decide.
1. Am I capable of making art because I was born to make art or because my environment up until now has cultivated me in that way? If it's the former, have I ever had a choice? And if it's the latter, shouldn't I be able to stop?
2. If the theory of subjectivity is true, that everything is subjective, then isn't the theory of subjectivity itself inherently subjective, therefore making objectivity the real god? In that case, art can be judged, and most likely we're all doing it wrong. If it's not the case, then we shouldn't judge anything.
3. Do I exist completely separate of everything outside of me? Or do I exist within contexts? I have to say it's pretty impossible that I exist outside of any context. I'm only a daughter because I have a mom, and I'm only in pain because there is happiness. Regardless, I still think about it. Sometimes I exist only in my head. But that's just because there are other things to ignore, right?
I think I know the answer to one and three. Two kills me, though. Radiohead. Colors.
